There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18 KJV)

Lately, God has been speaking to me with this verse. No matter what i would be doing this verse would speak to me. To be quite honest. I had no idea what God was trying to tell me. It wasn’t until i heard my friend’s pastor do a bible study on it a few weeks back. That i began to understand, what the Holy Spirit was trying to teach me in this verse. For years I loved God. However, i also served him out of fear. I am not referring to that reverence type of fear either. I am talking about that. I can’t mess up type of fear. The type of fear that i had to do right. If i did wrong especially having a relationship with God and still failed/fallen. Then God he wouldn’t love me anymore. That he would disown me; that he would reject me, casting me off to fend on my own. After all, i had that a lot from people in my life. So i figured why wouldn’t God be/do the same? Can i tell you a secret? It was a heavy burden to bear. Already prone to depression. It made it worse. Over the past two years. I went through some serious lows. To the point of having a serious mental melt down. That lasted months. I hurt people deeply. I live in remorse cause i can’t take it back but if they ever wondered. Yeah, i cared very much about the pain i inflicted, but most of all i hurt myself.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:

What God was telling me in this verse. That honestly took some time for me to wrap my head, but mostly my heart around. Was that in him. Through Christ. I don’t have to have that fear of being cast aside and rejected. His love is made perfect, even when i am not. One of the definitions of fear means an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined. You see for me my perception and therefore my fear was. If i messed up. God wouldn’t love me. That fear paralyzed me for years and it caused me to try to work out my salvation through works. By being good enough in my own strength. You know what i failed at that miserably. I didn’t understand about this perfect love. Or being made perfect in his love.

because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

There really is torment in fear. All the times that if or when i messed up. God wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I lived in torment. Torment simply put is severe mental or physical suffering. I learned that torment doesn’t let you rest. Fear and torment. It double teams up on you. It can either cause a person to become immobile with the what ifs or it could cause you to break under the pressure. Scripture says he that fears is not made perfect in love. Here’s another thing that i had to learn. There’s no fear in God. Even when i mess up. I don’t have to fear God’s rejection. Therefore i don’t have to fear his unforgiveness.

There is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1 KJV)

Scripture tells us that there is no condemnation, for those who are in Jesus Christ. One of the meanings of condemnation is very simple. Disapproval. We don’t have to fear God’s disapproval of us if we fall. Now don’t get me wrong. This does not give us a license to go out and do wrong, but if we do. God does not disapprove of us. He will disapprove of our actions, but never of us. That is a big difference. For he knows that we are but of dust. (Psalm 103:14). Further down in the 8th chapter of Romans vs 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. This is a comforting scripture. It reminds us of just how deep and how strong God’s love for us truly is. It is so strong that nothing will ever separate us from it. No mistakes, no doubt, no fear, no torment, no lie(s) from the enemy. Will ever stop God’s love for us.

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. (1 John 3:20 KJV)

This is my go to scripture. When i felt that i fell too far beyond God’s loving grace. Truth was that there were times when my very own heart would condemn me. I find comfort in this verse, because it tells us that God is greater than our hearts. I am understanding now why people would say. That we don’t trust in our feelings, because our feelings will lie to us. God knows this. It is why he gives us this confidence. That he is bigger than our heart and he knoweth all things. It shows me that there is a limit to the things that even the heart knows.

All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37 KJV)

I use to read this verse of scripture. Or hear it being preached over the pulpit and i only associated it. With the beginning of our walk. Meaning that when we first came/drawn to Christ. That he wouldn’t turn us away. No matter what shape or condition that we may be in. I am learning that this applies to no matter where we are in our walk. It’s not just for the beginning. As i told you earlier. My fear was that God would reject me. When i fell short. However, i found in this scripture that the opposite is true. This verse speaks to me personally. Cause i can hear Jesus whispering to me. Aqua, my Father has given you too me. I am not going to toss you aside because of mistakes or falls or sins. You are mine. My love is made perfect. Since my love is made perfect you don’t have to believe in the lies of the enemy. Do you know what is ironic. That i spent years trying to earn God’s love, but it was in the time over these past two years that i fell and i mean i fell hard. That i felt God wrap his arms around me, wipe every tear. Reminded me that i am his. Told me that i was worthy. Told me i still had a purpose, cause i felt my sins disqualified me for ever being used my God. He showed me love. When i didn’t deserve it. He pursued me and he continuously dust me off. I learned that God’s love for me isn’t based off of what i do, but rather who he is. Perfect love has no fear. Not because you nor i is perfect, but because the one we serve is.

God’s blessings,

Aqua.